too much
by Glaikit
Summary: Will finds out that Nico is still having nightmares Fits w/in 'a second life' but also works as a one shot fluffy


December 24

 **Will**

He woke up suddenly in the Hades cabin, much earlier than usual - it was still dark out. He gazed up at the dark ceiling, trying to figure out what had pulled him out of his vaguely pleasant dream, when a twitch next to him brought his attention to Nico. He was curled up against Will's side, and Will realized the brunet was hyperventilating. Not wanting to startle him awake, Will gently tried to rub Nico's back in soothing circles. That did not help. At Will's touch, Nico groaned and cringed away from Will's hand, balling up tighter. Will moved slowly back, trying to think of what would help the most. Nico was still silently hyperventilating, and the expression on his face was one of pain. Deciding to wake him up, Will began to say his name softly and reached out to gently move his hair off of his face.

At the touch, Nico's eyes flew open. He scrambled away from Will, pressing himself against the wall. He looked panicked and wild, and reached for a sword that wasn't on his hip. He was still hyperventilating and Will raised his hands.

Quietly, he tried to calm him down. "Nico, you're safe. It's just me. It's just Will. We're at camp. You're safe." Will wanted so badly to hold him, to soothe him by pulling him close and stroking his hair. That's what would have helped _Will_. But he knew better, he knew that trying to hold Nico when he was panicked would only make him more tense.

Nico eye's finally locked on Will, actually saw him. His shoulders relaxed but his breathing was still labored and his hands were shaking a little. Nico tried to take a deep breath and it caught in his throat. Will reached out, wanting to do _something_ to comfort Nico better, but before his hand moved more than a few inches, Nico edged off the end of the bed and stood up.

Between steadying breaths and without making eye contact, Nico said, "um, sorry. I'm going to … shower, really quick."

Will just nodded and watched him grab some boxers and jeans and duck into the bathroom.

He looked out the window and noticed only the faintest light begin to appear. He felt guilty that he hadn't realized that Nico was still having nightmares. He should have known better. With everything Nico had gone through, of course it would take more than a few months of quiet to truly heal. Will had just assumed that since the physical scars had faded and Nico's powers had returned to full strength, he was fine. But he knew Nico was a private person, that he wouldn't just _tell_ Will if there were still problems. Will felt like he should have paid better attention, looked closer for signs that Nico was still haunted.

Will sighed and sank back under the blankets. He had begun to stay in the Hades cabin at least once a week - usually a Friday or Saturday night so they didn't have to worry about cabin inspections. He also had to bribe Kayla or Austin to cover for him with his younger siblings. It made it a little less suspicious that he'd often take overnight infirmary shifts, so leaving his bed unslept in usually didn't make anyone think twice.

Despite the jokes and innuendos from Kayla, Lou Ellen, and Cecil, Will's nights in Cabin 13 were relatively innocent. He and Nico usually watched a movie or two and fell asleep cuddling. They hadn't gotten past sometimes removing their shirts during particularly heated makeout sessions, and Will was fine with that pace, content spending most of their time learning about one another bit by bit.

The night before, Will had insisted they watch _National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation_. It was his mom's favorite Christmas movie and they usually watched it at least a couple times every winter. Even though Will was happy to spend the holiday at camp this year, he didn't feel right _not_ seeing it. They didn't have any classes or chores on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and breakfast would be served late, so Will promised Kayla he'd clean out the stables for her in exchange for spending both nights with Nico.

They had given up on the pretense of making a couch on Hazel's bed and settled into Nico's with some cookies Will had snuck out of the holiday party a couple nights before. Nico wasn't quite as entertained by the Griswolds as he was, but Will promised that by the fifth or sixth time seeing the movie he'd feel differently. They had both been too tired to shut off the credits, and fell asleep before they ended. It had been such a mellow night, with the promise of a lazy two days spent without anything planned. Will hated that while he slept peacefully, savoring the comfort of the body next to him, Nico had been terrorized and trapped in a nightmare.

Nico finished in the bathroom and walked out wearing his torn up black jeans and towel-drying his hair. He looked better, as if nothing had happened, but still avoided making any eye contact.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, fine. Sorry if I woke you up." Nico dropped the towel on the floor and pulled on a clean shirt. He grabbed some socks and sat on the edge of the bed, far from Will, and put them on.

"No, don't worry about it. Does that happen often?" Will sat up to see Nico better.

"Um, not really. A couple times a week, maybe." Nico leaned his elbows onto his knees and stared at the floor.

"I'd say that's pretty often." Will tried to search Nico's face for more information, but got nothing. "You could have told me, I can give you something to sleep better."

"No, really, it isn't that big of a deal. I can handle them." Nico finally looked up and gave Will something that was probably supposed to be a reassuring smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Sure, ok." Will didn't want to try to push the issue. Sometimes Nico reminded him of a feral cat, quick to scare. "Well, breakfast isn't for at least another few hours, want to try to get a little more sleep?" Will move over, offering Nico his usual spot against the wall.

Nico just nodded and crawled under the covers. Will leaned back and pulled Nico tight against him. Nico tensed a little at first, but then relaxed into Will's hold and burrowed his face into Will's shoulder.

"If you want to tell me about it, you can. It might help get some of it out of your head."

Nico didn't say anything. Will began to run his fingers through his damp hair while he watched the sky outside slowly get lighter. He thought Nico had fallen back asleep when he shifted his head a bit and took a breath to speak.

"It's usually the same dream," Nico said, very quietly. Will's hand froze in Nico's hair, but after a beat he began his stroking again. "It always starts with me wandering through Tartarus, my throat burning and trying to fight off different monsters. Eventually, there are too many for me to take on." Nico stopped. Will thought that might have been it, but then he took a deep breath and kept talking.

"They all swarm me, and I'm usually bleeding and burning and afraid I'm about to die. There are so many and they get so close that I can't tell one from another anymore, and then they all sort of press toward me and melt together and turn into the walls of the jar I was trapped in. I start suffocating and I can feel my body fading. It's pitch black but somehow I can still tell that my hands are turning to smoke."

Will squeezed Nico tighter and pressed his face into his damp hair. He hated thinking about Nico fading. That part was very real to Will.

"Then, I start to hear my friends screaming outside the jar, battling the giants. Something makes the jar crack just enough for me to be able to watch, but not help. Then I just have to watch while the giants kill everyone or the floor collapses and they all fall into Tartarus or Gaia absorbs them into the earth as she rises. Or something else equally terrible. And I can't ever do anything to stop it, because my body is barely even there anymore."

Nico pushed his face harder into Will's shoulder and wrapped his arm around his waist. Will was just glad that Nico was letting himself be held. Will didn't know how else to try to comfort him, absorb some of the pain, without some sort of touch.

He couldn't think of anything to say. He didn't know how to cure nightmares. Will felt even guiltier that Nico was still haunted by everything he'd been through, everything he'd battled, and all that time Will had just been at camp, safe, with no idea most of it was happening. He'd had some horrible prophetic dreams during that time, a little stronger than most demigods had thanks to his dad, but he still was able to wake up and go canoeing and goof off with his friends. All while Nico was fighting in Tartarus or suffocating in a jar or nearly disappearing into nothing. Will couldn't stand it.

"Nico, I'm so sorry."

Nico tensed and pulled away. "No, don't feel sorry for me. I'm not some sad little damaged kid." His voice had an edge to it.

Will moved back too, so he could see Nico's face. It was guarded. "What? No, that isn't what I meant. You're anything but damaged Nico, and I'm definitely not pitying you. Look, I just feel like you've done so much to protect us - this camp, the _world_. And I forgot, I guess."

Will paused to try to search for the right words, because Nico still looked upset and defensive. "I forgot how fucking insane it all was, and all of the crazy shit you had to see and deal with and _do_. I meant that I'm sorry that I got so wrapped up in us not being a 'thing' and then being a 'thing' that I forgot that you went through all that. Because you seem so normal -" Nico glared at him. "No, really, you do. You are. Somehow, amazingly, all of that didn't break you. I have no idea how, because you have every reason to be super fucked up and you aren't really. And I forget all the time."

Will searched Nico's face for a sign of understanding. He seemed to be softening a little. Will sighed, "a lot of us forget. Because while you were doing all of that most of us were just _here_ , hoping the world wasn't about to end, yeah, but still sleeping in our safe little beds and going to our nice little classes and living in this fucking protected bubble. That's what I'm sorry about. And I'm sorry that while we get to go on living in this nice little bubble, that you still have to live through all of that shit while you're asleep. It isn't fair. I hate it. I wish I could… I don't know, have the nightmares instead or something at least."

Will wanted to pull Nico close again, but wasn't sure if he could yet. Nico seemed to be thinking through what Will had said, but was still tense.

Finally he relaxed a little and said, "you don't deserve them either, Will. But thanks." And he smiled a little and moved back into Will's space and rested his head back on Will's shoulder.

Will couldn't help himself, he wrapped Nico up in his arms and held him as tight as he could, burying his face in his hair. Nico half-hugged him back and croaked, "I don't think you can cure nightmares through suffocation, though."

Will loosened his hold and laughed a little. "I'm sorry. I just … can't handle you sometimes, Nico. In a good way. It's all too much. You're too amazing. I can't bear it."

"Yeah, sure." Will could almost hear Nico rolling his eyes.

He pushed Nico onto his back and leaned up on his elbow, looking down at him earnestly. "I mean it. I know you think I'm being sappy or something, but I'm serious. It's like how I feel when I'm looking at the stars sometimes. I know they're there all the time, millions of them in infinite space, but every so often I really look at the night sky and I can't hardly stand thinking about all of them. There are too many for me to process, it's all too big and amazing and overwhelming. But so real at the same time. Does that make any sense?"

Nico didn't say anything, just blushed a little and scrunched his nose, a little uncomfortable with the full force of Will's undivided attention. Will laughed at himself and smiled. "No, of course that doesn't make any sense."

He lightly kissed Nico's pink cheek, then his jaw, then his neck - all brief and quick and sweet. "I think you're perfect, that's all."

"Will… come on." But Nico was smiling and blushing still and Will wasn't going to stop telling him, not right now, not ever.

Will pulled Nico's shirt collar aside and starting peppering light kisses along his collarbone. "It's true. I'm the luckiest."

Nico laughed a little and Will pulled his shirt off. Nico let him, smiling timidly. Will looked at Nico and continued kissing along his shoulder. "You're the bravest," Will kissed right over Nico's heart, "the most selfless," Will continued kissing across his chest, "the most loyal person I've ever met."

Nico squirmed a little, ticklish, but was still holding Will's gaze and grinning. He placed a kiss on each of Nico's ribs between words, working his way down the left side, then his right, "you're courageous - adorable - mysterious - thoughtful - funny - brilliant - strong - powerful - attractive - lovely -"

" - stunning -" Will kissed just inside Nico's hip bone, and he heard a sharp intake of breath. He was awfully close to _certain parts_ of Nico and his heart picked up its pace at the realization of how easy it would be to just zip Nico's jeans open, move his mouth over a little - but he wasn't sure if he was ready for that, or if Nico was ready for that, or if doing that for the first time after a nightmare and on Christmas Eve was really how he wanted to do it.

So instead he lightly bit at Nico's hipbone, and Nico squeaked in surprise and curled away from Will, laughing. Will smiled brightly at him and Nico grabbed his face, about to kiss him. Will pulled back. "Nico, you showered and everything already, I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. Hold on."

Nico rolled his eyes but smiled as Will jumped out of bed and grabbed Nico's toothbrush in the bathroom. Barely pausing to spit the toothpaste back out and drink some water straight out of the faucet, he was back and wrapped Nico up in his arms.

Nico was still blushing a little and smiling and he kissed Will very gently and slowly. "Thanks. I think you're pretty ok too."

Will laughed, "good to know."


End file.
